A lawyer was well into a lengthy cross-examination of a witness, stopped and said: “I object, Your Honor! One of the jurors is asleep.”
Posts Tagged ‘funny jokes’
What’ s your name?
Posted by joanna_1985 on June 7th, 2011
A woman arrived at a party. While scanning the guests, she spotted an attractive man standing alone. She approached him, smiled and said, “Hello. My name is Carmen.” “That’s a beautiful name,” he replied. “Is it a family name?”
Man-God crosstalk
Posted by joanna_1985 on June 6th, 2011
The man: “God, how long is a million years?” God: “To me, it’s about a minute.” The man: “God, how much is a million dollars?”
The pig
Posted by joanna_1985 on June 6th, 2011
A farmhand is driving around the farm, checking the fences. After a few minutes he radios his boss and says, “Boss, I’ve got a problem. I hit a pig on the road and he’s stuck in the bull-bars of my truck. He’s still wriggling. What should I do?”
Mortgage and no bike
Posted by lazaros on May 9th, 2011
For his birthday, little Joe asked for a 10-speed bicycle. His father said, “Son, we’d give you one, but the mortgage on this house is $280,000 and your mother just lost her job. There’s no way we can afford it.” The next day the father saw little Joe heading out the front door with a [...]
A woman and her accountant
Posted by lazaros on April 1st, 2011
A woman walks into her accountant’s office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes. The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to ask a few questions.” He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks, “What is your occupation?”
Make a child eat!
Posted by Miss Eve on March 21st, 2011
Dad tries to persuade his son to eat the egg he has prepared for him: – “Eat your egg my child to become as big as daddy!” – “I do not want,” says the little one.
Posted in Miscallaneous jokes 
Tags: Dirty jokes, funny, funny jokes, funny kid, Small jokes 
No Comments »The sucker!
Posted by Miss Eve on March 21st, 2011
A little boy was pushing a heavy cart uphill with a lot of effort. The work was very tiring, so someone walking nearby felt pity and helped the little boy push the heavy cart until the end of the hill. He stopped indignant there and told to the child:
Posted in Miscallaneous jokes Tags: funny, funny jokes, funny kid, funny videos, humor No Comments »High speeding!
Posted by Miss Eve on March 20th, 2011
A police officer stopped a driver for speeding. -Can I see your driving license? -I don’t have it, I had it removed because of point system. -Can I see your license for the vehicle? -But it is not my car, I stole it.
Posted in Police jokes Tags: funny, funny jokes, humor, police, Police jokes, police officer, policeman, speeding No Comments »The government collapse!
Posted by Miss Eve on March 14th, 2011
A government is doing really bad and is very likely to lose the election. So they gather the cabinet to deal with the situation. “Guys we do not go well, we will lose power, we will lose everything. We need to do something ” the prime minister said. A minister pops up and says: “We [...]
Posted in Miscallaneous jokes Tags: funny, funny jokes, Funny People, government, humor 2 Comments »
