A man came home and said to his wife, “Honey, I’m sure horny; how about a little bit tonight?” “No,” she said, “I’ve got cold crème on my face and I’m afraid I might get it on the bed.”
Archive for the ‘Marriage jokes’ Category
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Haunted from the grave
Posted by geopou on February 20th, 2012
An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most.
Divorced Barbie
Posted by geopou on February 5th, 2012
A man was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughter’s birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present.
Diary
Posted by geopou on February 3rd, 2012
HER DIARY: Tonight: I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day
In the bridal suite
Posted by viki on November 29th, 2011
On their first night to be together, the newlywed couple go to get changed. The new bride comes out of the bathroom, all showered and wearing her beautiful robe. The proud husband says, “My dear, we are married now, you can open your robe.” The beautiful young woman opens her robe, and he is astonished. [...]
Married man
Posted by viki on November 24th, 2011
One day she was so curious that she broke down and looked in it anyway. She found two beer bottles and ,000 in cash. The next night while they were lying in bed, she asked her husband about the beer bottles.
The Cheaper Solution
Posted by viki on November 13th, 2011
A lady went to a psychiatrist complaining of a terrible phobia. “Every time I lay down on my bed I get this terrible fear that there is something underneath. “Wow” responded the psychiatrist “I’ve never heard of such a phobia, but like all phobias it can be treated, but it will likely take around 20 [...]
Marriage Communication
Posted by viki on November 12th, 2011
A husband and wife were at a party chatting with some friends when the subject of marriage counseling came up.
Nagging wife
Posted by viki on October 29th, 2011
A husband, tired of his wife asking him how she looks, buys her a full length mirror. This does little to help, as now she just stands in front of the mirror, looking at herself, asking him how she looks. One day, fresh out of the shower, she is yet again in front of the [...]
I was with my secretary
Posted by admin on October 19th, 2011
A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around 8.00 p.m. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take [...]
